The conversations will consist of the following topics: work, home-improvement
projects, recent vacations, marathon or triathlon training, the newest
technological gadgets, and recent news items that are acceptably non-controversial.
By 11:00, everyone will agree that they’re exhausted and will retire home
to watch TiVo and analyze the social dynamics of the evening.
If there’s one thing the research on happiness consistently shows, it’s that our social ties
matter most. And in addition to the pro-social environment fostered at my boyfriend’s job, he
also enjoys long-term community ties that I do not. I’m fairly typical of the educated class: I live
thousands of miles from my hometown, and my friends and family are spread far and wide.
But like many working-class guys, my boyfriend stayed close to home.
This has allowed him to foster a rich sense of community that highly mobile workers simply
can’t replicate with Facebook. He sees his closest friends and family virtually every week. I’m
lucky if I see mine once a year.
The central tenet of that culture is a celebration of the “me” and an aversion to the “we”. When
Harris pollsters asked US citizens aged 18 and older what it means to be an American the
answers surprised no one. Nearly 60 percent used the word freedom. The second most common
word was patriotism. Only 4 percent mentioned the word community.
We became rich because we were exceptionally lucky.
